Thinking About Waste

I've been doing some thinking, which I will get to.  But first, something good to share.  Working has been agreeing with me, in a lot of ways.  I've lost 4 pounds since I started.  My day time food choices are better, my night time progress isn't always good, but better days have been happening.  I think the structure helps me a lot.  I'm really a structure type person.  I have always known this.  If you saw my morning routine, I don't really stray from the order in which things get done.  Anyway.....

I've been thinking about something and I haven't found answers/solutions.  It's not really anything bad, well, it depends on how you view what I'm about to tell you.

Since being on unemployment, I really have been thinking about the cost of food (that is continually rising) and being wasteful.  Not using up all the: vegetables, fruit, meat, whatever & it spoiling, is wasteful.  Is there a way that this can be helped/fixed/solved especially on a VERY fixed budget?

As children, we are taught to clean our plates.  I can't help but think that if I don't eat every single scrap of food on my plate I'm being wasteful.  Is this "my" issue or does anyone else think like this?  I know I need to cut back.  Does this mean I make less food & if I'm still hungry I snack on fruit or vegetables or chips & dip? Or do I just get used to the idea of leaving food behind?  I wonder if making less, then hunting for something to fill me up might be a set up to over eat, especially if I were to choose chips & dip.  Don't judge, I love certain foods, that I don't know if I will ever be able to give up & stay away from.  For me not having leads to binge eating, which I think is much worse than allowing myself the things I love.

Also, with the cost of foods, I really can't afford a lot of meat or meat at all.  I maybe have meat a few times a week instead of almost every day.  I found a delicious Zucchini Quinoa Lasagna that was amazing!! The recipe was vegan, but I made it vegetarian.  I didn't want to buy Tofutti or vegan cheddar cheese.  I am on a budget.  I used low fat cream cheese & Romano cheese for the top.  The quinoa filling was amazing!!!!  I'm modifying the recipe for myself tonight.  I'm going to make the quinoa filling but instead of zucchini I'm going to put it over spaghetti squash.  I've found that with my budget, I'm finding alternatives (instead of macaroni & sauce every night).  I need to find protein alternatives, which quinoa helps with.  I know those legumes help, I plan on making a big pot of lentil soup this week.  I have tofu for some Tofu Tacos as well.  All of these things get me several meals.

But I worry about spending money & being wasteful.  I don't have a lot of freezer room, because my pet's food takes up a good portion of freezer space.  This is my new worry.  I'm open to any and all suggestions and tips about not worrying about wasting food/money.  I write this knowing I have to go through out some lunch meat that I didn't eat all of fast enough.  It's so frustrating to me.

Thank you!

Getting there....

Today is October 2nd.  I have been working for 3 weeks & they have been the most awesome 3 weeks in a very long time.

I'm starting to feel really good, in a lot of ways.  My spirits have been so high.  Unbelievably high.  Almost annoyingly high.  But I don't care.  The last year was awful, I felt awful, I apparently made some people feel awful.  It wasn't intentional.

It's odd how your self esteem & self worth take a terrible blow when there is a major change in your life.  Even when you have a job, whether you're happy or not, how in some ways, you are validated.  Add to sending out resumes, not hearing back, getting an interview, not trying to sound desperate (in your cover letters & in your interviews), trying hard not to beg for the chance.  Such awful feelings & it was so hard to be happy.  Even pretending was hard.  Hearing from friends that it will get better, doesn't help.

I feel like the last year was a dream, with how good I feel now.  It's amazing!  It seems everything else is starting to fall back into place.  My eating has been better, since I have more structure in my life again.  On Friday, I was so happy at work, I wanted to run.  So I treated myself to new running sneakers yesterday.  I'm finally feeling happy enough to get back in the swing of exercising.

I'm feeling like I'm getting back to my old self again.  Getting a job has made me feel great.  I work with some great people.  It's such a good feeling.  It will all fall in to place, I can feel it!!