Getting there....

Today is October 2nd.  I have been working for 3 weeks & they have been the most awesome 3 weeks in a very long time.

I'm starting to feel really good, in a lot of ways.  My spirits have been so high.  Unbelievably high.  Almost annoyingly high.  But I don't care.  The last year was awful, I felt awful, I apparently made some people feel awful.  It wasn't intentional.

It's odd how your self esteem & self worth take a terrible blow when there is a major change in your life.  Even when you have a job, whether you're happy or not, how in some ways, you are validated.  Add to sending out resumes, not hearing back, getting an interview, not trying to sound desperate (in your cover letters & in your interviews), trying hard not to beg for the chance.  Such awful feelings & it was so hard to be happy.  Even pretending was hard.  Hearing from friends that it will get better, doesn't help.

I feel like the last year was a dream, with how good I feel now.  It's amazing!  It seems everything else is starting to fall back into place.  My eating has been better, since I have more structure in my life again.  On Friday, I was so happy at work, I wanted to run.  So I treated myself to new running sneakers yesterday.  I'm finally feeling happy enough to get back in the swing of exercising.

I'm feeling like I'm getting back to my old self again.  Getting a job has made me feel great.  I work with some great people.  It's such a good feeling.  It will all fall in to place, I can feel it!!
:)