Wednesday, January 4, 2012

Struggles With a Pleasant Disposition

It's been a while since I last wrote.  I've been busy.  WORK keeps me busy!!  I love my job.  I love the people I work with.  I get thanked every day, not just by my bosses, but by my other soldiers.  Yes, they are my soldiers.  I am so privileged and honored to work with people who have chosen to be American Soldiers.  They are so amazing to work with.  Being there has helped my self esteem & self worth so much.  It is so nice to feel validated & appreciated.  Plus, the uniforms don't hurt!!! ;)

But I still struggle.  My job is awesome & I make an awesome hourly wage, but I only work 30 hours a week.  I work for USAREC and their solution to layoffs was to make the work week 30 hours.  So I am thankful for a position.  I also get benefits.  Awesome benefits.  My medical is fully covered & for a small amount out of pocket I get dental & vision as well.  I have been completely without benefits for over 16 months.  That's just sick.

I have been looking for part time work, it's not easy.  Not a lot of places are hiring, but I still don't make enough to survive.  Bonne (my car) needs work: her power steering leaks, she needs an alignment & some tires.  My rent is going up in March.  I couldn't pay my rent in full this month so I had to break it up, which means $100 late fee & convincing my management office not to file court papers to start the eviction process.  I explained that I'm working on a solution.  Moving isn't an option.  I don't have a security deposit, finding a cheaper place further from work really won't be cheaper when I add in the additional gas use & maintenance of my car in.  My student loan will pick up again at the end of February.  I thought maybe I was at rock bottom, but I guess not.

I keep wondering what else will be happening.  My heart races constantly & I've taken an OTC sleep aid every night to help me sleep & stay asleep since May.  I told my mom I can't stress or worry, but it's hard not to.  I will figure out a solution while doing my best to maintain my awesomely pleasant disposition.  Some days it's hard, but mostly it isn't.  Working helps me a lot.

Anyway, with my budget being so tight, I still can't eat as healthy as I'd like to.  Yes, I still food cope.  That is something I will always struggle with, but good news (maybe?) is I can't afford to do it as much or as often as I'd like - hahahahaha!!!  I've decided that I am going to do my best to eat lots of fruits & vegetables during the day, while at work.  Working with Soldiers kind of gives me a complex, they are all so fit, they have to be.   Anyway, I've recently discovered the deliciousness of homemade smoothies!!!  I've started making them this week.  I have them for breakfast & healthy lunch options.  Yesterday was steel cut oats with strawberries & bananas.  Today was a "big salad"  Hopefully you get the "big salad" reference!!!

So I'm eating pretty healthy during the day & while dinners haven't been quite as healthy, they aren't as bad.  I think I will be making a bit pot of lentil soup over the weekend to help get me through.  I've cut out caffeine & doing my best to cut down on sugar, fake sugar & processed foods.  I figure, for now, if dinner is the only meal where that "stuff" gets in, it's much better than an all day thing, right?

If you have smoothie recipes, please share them with me, you can email them to me.  I would appreciate it.

I'm thinking once I get a handle on things, I might sign up for my Commander's PT plan, but I'm a little scared to do that.  He is in amazing shape.  He's a big guy at 6'2" and complains of always being cold.  I've seen him in his tank top & I'm pretty sure he doesn't have any body fat, which is probably why he is so cold!!!  HAHAHA!!!  Maybe one day I will be in enough shape to join the group!!

Anyway, that's the haps going on here.  All in all, it's pretty darn good.


:)

e -

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