Apologies are Necessary

I have to apologize. It's been a long time since I've posted anything. I've been in a funk. A big one. I've been trying to figure out the reason for it. It all seems to have something to do with this girl.

There is this girl I know. Great girl, good friend, always has something nice to say about everyone. Oddly, she & I battle regularly. I don't know why. I don't know why we just can't get along.

I've been slacking on the running thing. It's harder than I expected. I can't seem to fuel right. I either am not eating enough or I don't eat the right things, but either way, my energy dwindles very quickly. Then I get frustrated, then I eat....junk. Then the cycle begins. The horrible vicious cycle.

I had to take some steps back & do some thinking. And some talking to that girl. I had to look in the mirror and tell her she is fully capable. That things won't be perfect right from the start. That it takes time to build stamina and get everything in order. That as long as she tries every single day, doing the best she can, she will become successful.

I had to take a look at my food books. I had to refresh myself & remind myself that I do need the guidance. That I should be thankful someone has written everything down to take some of the thinking out if it. To help guide me on this journey.

Monday I'm starting with the basics. I will detail exactly what I am doing. The food, the exercise. All of it. I have to. I need to. It's the only thing that is going to work for me. Yes, I know it's going to be a struggle with good days & bad, but one I believe will be well worth it. I'm going to have to fight through, fight that girl, I'm stronger than I know.

I've told the girl that's been giving me so much trouble, to lay off. She doesn't need to be so hard on me. We agreed to keep trying & keep working, moving forward, never moving back. I may never figure out the reason why this girl and I battle so much & so often. As long as we can figure out a way to live together everything will be ok.

The next few days I'm going to be making my lists. Preparing to change my days around completely. I've decided to do my workouts in the morning before work. I'm hoping the change in time will find more energy for me to get through the workout. I'm also going to slow my jogging pace down. I want to do more than I am capable of at the moment and I think that has something to do with fatigue coming on quickly. I'm planning out my meals, the times when I will eat, also hoping I maintain a higher energy level. The right food choices.

So stay tuned for all the details. They will be exciting & riveting, they MAY even have you on the edge of your seat.


Happily & Wearily,

Elizabeth
grazingthroughlife@gmail.com