It seems I have some work to do. Don't get too excited, I didn't get a job. I saw Seth yesterday and it did not go well at all.
But first.....after all the C's I consumed: chips, cheese & cake, I was only up 1.5lbs. I don't think that's bad considering.
Second, I am a new volunteer at the YMCA. I will be working in the Wellness Center greeting all members, seeing if they need assistance, would like an orientation & just to see how things are doing.
Ok, on to Seth. I left a complete wreck yesterday. I haven't cried like that in a long time. Big, fat hysterical tears. I suppose a lot of things have been compounding on me: no job, money is tight, a crazy neighbor among other things but I didn't expect to discuss what I did yesterday.
It's finally occurred to me why I emotionally eat. Yesterday I was talking about some things with Seth & it's very apparent I have extremely low self esteem & that affects a lot of my personal relationships. So when I get frustrated I eat, because of how I handle/deal/don't deal with things.
I am not sure how to raise my self esteem up. I suppose I am going to have to figure that out. I don't know where to start. I almost don't want to do it. But it's work that needs to be done.
I'm sure I will be figuring a lot of things out in the near future. Work means progress and that's always good......right?
Give yourself some credit, mama!
ReplyDeleteYou're going through a lot of challenges right now, and you're still finding it in yourself to give to others in the form of volunteering= AWESOME!
Crossing the finish line of a race, reaching lifetime goal,finding the perfect job for you: You WILL be rewarded, as long as you don't give up!!