Gratification

Let me first start by saying that anything I post pertains to me and no one else. I feel I need to have that disclaimer.

So I titled this post about gratification. The Wikipedia definition is: the pleasurable emotional reaction of happiness in response to a fulfillment of a desire or the fulfillment of a goal. I am an instant gratification kind of girl. Gotta have it, right now, this very second. Guess what? That doesn't happen.

When I was younger, although I was never thin, I used to pray to wake up thin. I just wanted to be thin, accepted, liked. I didn't care how it happened, it just better happen. As I got older & gained more weight I still wanted to be thin, instantly. I eventually got to a point where I had actually told my doctor at the time I wanted to have gastric bypass surgery (GBS). She gave me the ok & I found a place that had meetings, so I went. I got my binder, I talked with a nurse & sat in on a discussion group.

I learned a lot. I learned that when choosing a snack having peaut M & M's were a much better choice than pretzels. Why? Because the peanuts offer some sort of protein. Go figure! I learned that sometimes people's bodies "reject" foods. For no reason. Some people can't eat steak or bread. It isn't that they don't want to, their body just can't handle it. Well gee, that doesn't sound very good. I like steak & bread, I may have to live without them? I learned about the "dumps". The dumps is where you have too much sugar & you get flu-like symptoms, including the trots. Yeah, I said trots, it was the nicest word I could think of. I don't really find the trots to be much fun. You can never drink fully carbonated pop. Apparently it comes out the staple seam. They gave me this visual: Put some pop in a ziploc bag then shake it up & see what happens. You have to stir the carbonation out of pop before you drink it. What's the point then? I like carbonated beverages, especially lemon-lime seltzer.

I've known a couple people who have had GBS. One woman has skin that looks very gray. A lot of her hair has fallen out & is very thin. Another woman has gained a lot of her weight back. Imagine, going through GBS, losing weight then gaining it all back. You can stretch out your smaller stomach to fill it back up & go right back to square one.

Well, all of this got me to thinking. How could I go through all of that only to possibly gain the weight back? Back then (I had my GBS meeting probably 7 years ago) I started to realize that if my head wasn't in the right place then it didn't matter what I did I wouldn't lose the weight or I would lose it but not eep it off. So I decided there wasn't any point in going through with the surgery if I didn't know if I could truly be successful. I knew my head wasn't right and that I needed to do some work on it, but it wouldn't be until a few years later that I actually took action on getting my head on straight.

So here we are. I've been diligently reading my Clean Eating magazines, my Clean Eating book & scouring this website www.eatcleandiet.com for all the useful information I could find. www.cleaneatingmag.com has a 7 day menu you can download and printout. I thought I could pick my own foods & make it up as I go. I figured out I need help, mainly because I falter. I got the ingredients for a few recipes. I will post them along with pictures. I printed out my 7 day meal planner. The magazines also offer 2 week meal planners. I have my foods ready to go to get my cooler ready. Until I can be diligent on my own I'm going to take the help of all the tools available to me.

Instant gratification is something I have realized is unattainable. I'm willing to put the effort & work in, eating wise and exercise wise. I'm a gratification-over-time kind of girl now. I'm actually looking forward to little changes & small successes. The way I see it, it took me time to get to where I am at now, the good, the bad, all of it. It's going to take some more time to work through and change behaviors and thoughts that got me to this place.

So, please stay tuned for this great journey I am on......

Happily,

Elizabeth