774

That's the amount of calories I burned on the elliptical machine this morning. I had every intention of lifting weights & doing cardio today. That didn't happen.

I pitied myself last night & ate crap. Made me feel like crap. I stayed up later than normal because I felt like crap, didn't sleep well because I ate crap, was up early because I felt like crap....the cycle. I knew because of how my body was feeling I would not have the energy to lift weights & do cardio. So I opted just for cardio.

I was actually trying to talk myself out of going. But I went & cardioed for a full hour. It wasn't easy, for a lot of reasons. I had to burn through the crap in my body. It's hard to get the muscles to move when they've been fed poorly. Even though I ate a smart breakfast, it was still hard. It was also hard because I do my thinking when I am on the elliptical. I had a couple of moments of panic as in "what am I going to do?" I had to choke back tears. I'm not sad, I'm scared. They are tears of fear.

I will figure it out. It's just going to take some thinking. So, I will be thinking, on the cross trainer, regularly. It will come to me. I will use this time to focus on me, get into a regular exercise routine. I'm actually look forward to that. In that time, I'm hoping the answers will come to me. The answer I have now: I was watching The Price Is Right yesterday & thinking I should get on there to win some money, or a lifetime supply of soup or a new car. The next commercial during the show: Live auditions for The Price Is Right in Yonkers, totally doable!!!! Is that a sign?? Should I go??

Well, as long as I keep trucking it will be ok. 774 calories burned & 4 miles travelled. That's a good way to start the day.


Happily,

Elizabeth
grazingthroughlife@gmail.com