Hopeful

I'm sitting here watching the new A & E show Heavy & it seemed appropriate to write. I'm feeling heavy - my heart, my head, my emotions, my eyelids. I had a different blog planned. Maybe tomorrow I will write that. I wanted to do my Monday update, mostly.

I should mention, the last few weeks have been tough. It occurred to me what might be the problem. I've been wrestling with some feelings I have & I believe they are related to my expectations of people. You would never expect a friend to say something or do something hurtful. You think that the people you allow into your life on a personal level would have & behave with the same integrity as you have & do for & toward them. Do I lower my expectations of people? Do I even have any? I had a conversation with one of my friends this week and I asked if I ever say anything hurtful. She pointed out that I am obviously careful with the words I choose all the time. I know this is true about me. I just didn't realize it was so obvious. I mean, it's one thing to tease your friends, which I do, we all do, but I'm careful to never say something I could never take back. I know I've mentioned it before, but I can remember certain things said to me, when & by who. It's like it happened yesterday. I don't ever want to make someone feel like that. I will never do that. It's a terrible feeling to have. So now I am just in the process of figuring out what my expectations should be of others.

Anyway.....

When I weighed myself, it showed I am down another 1.6 pounds, making my total loss 12.5 pounds since 12/27/10. I'm really happy with that. I've only noticed a small visual change. My neck has what I call a divot. My legs seem smaller too. Other than that, I don't visually see anything.

I did some back tracking & looked at my original starting weight a few years ago when I did WW. I am down 43 pounds from my original starting weight. That's a whole lot. That's like some kind of toddler. I'm pretty happy with how things are going.

I know I'm in a funk. I will work through it. Tomorrow is a new day to be hopeful for.

:)