I got a lovely bounty of home grown zucchini from one of the girls I work with. I have eaten zucchini everyday since Wednesday. It's so good & I don't want it to go to waste. I have 2 recipes for you today. One I've had (chocolate zucchini bread), I'm sure some adjustments & it could be made a little more healthy & one I made up. I don't have a name for it other than Quinoa & Zucchini Summer-ish Salad. I hope you enjoy!!
Chocolate Zucchini Bread
2 cups grated zucchini
1 teaspoon salt
3 eggs, well beaten
1/2 teaspoon baking powder
2 cups sugar
1 teaspoon baking soda
1 cup oil
3 teaspoons cinnamon
3 teaspoons vanilla
1/2 cup cocoa
2 1/2 cups flour
1 cup chopped nuts (optional)
Blend all ingredients until mixed. Pour into 2 greased bread pans. Bake @ 350 degrees for 1 hour or until toothpick comes out clean. Makes 2 loaves.
Quinoa & Zucchini Summer-ish Salad
1/2 cup Quinoa cooked according to package
2 medium Zucchini diced
1/2 red onion chopped
Juice of 1 lemon
2 cloves garlic, minced
1/2 cup crumbled feta
1 tbsp olive oil
salt & pepper to taste
Cook Quinoa & set aside. In large saute pan heat oil. Add onions, salt, pepper & garic. As that softens add zucchini. Let cook until soft but don't cook until mushy. Once the zucchini is ready mix in large bowl with Quinoa. Add lemon juice & feta, mix, adjust seasonings as needed.
Hope you all try these!!! Let me know what you think!!! I had 3 guinea pigs for my Quinoa dish. It went over extremely well. I like having people who are willing to try new things with me!!!
Happily,
Elizabeth
grazingthroughlife@gmail.com
Saturday, July 31, 2010
Friday, July 30, 2010
Well, It's Happened...
Today. It happened today. The one thing I never thought would happen. I'm a little in shock. I'm oddly happy (my happiness never goes away, but this is a different happy). Let me tell you....
I mentioned to Jay the other day that I hadn't had wings in a long time. I don't remember the last time I even had them. I told him that too. Normally, I could tell you when I did last have them, I would eat them so damn much. I know gross but I had a lot of coping to do. Anyway.....
I thought I wanted them. I got the fixins' for them. I got everything ready & made them & boy was my stomach grumbling. When they were ready I got my pop & settled down to watch a little TV & enjoy them. When I tried to eat them, eh. They weren't good. I don't mean they were spoiled, they just didn't appeal to me. I choked down a couple because I did spend the money for the stuff. I ended up throwing the majority of them out. I guess the day has finally come for me. I wish Jay was around for me to tell him, it will have to wait...
I'm not even sad about it. I'm pissed because I spent money that went to waste but lesson learned. Now I know better.
Today, my friends, is a really great day!!!
Happily,
Elizabeth
grazingthroughlife@gmail.com
I mentioned to Jay the other day that I hadn't had wings in a long time. I don't remember the last time I even had them. I told him that too. Normally, I could tell you when I did last have them, I would eat them so damn much. I know gross but I had a lot of coping to do. Anyway.....
I thought I wanted them. I got the fixins' for them. I got everything ready & made them & boy was my stomach grumbling. When they were ready I got my pop & settled down to watch a little TV & enjoy them. When I tried to eat them, eh. They weren't good. I don't mean they were spoiled, they just didn't appeal to me. I choked down a couple because I did spend the money for the stuff. I ended up throwing the majority of them out. I guess the day has finally come for me. I wish Jay was around for me to tell him, it will have to wait...
I'm not even sad about it. I'm pissed because I spent money that went to waste but lesson learned. Now I know better.
Today, my friends, is a really great day!!!
Happily,
Elizabeth
grazingthroughlife@gmail.com
Wednesday, July 28, 2010
Who Can Stop at One??
I've been making a grocey list, as I need some things. I was mentally making a additions to my list & got to thinking about a couple of things.
I'm a shameless chip eater. I used to discriminate & only eat sour cream & onion chips. Then my binging went haywire & if a chips wasn't nailed down, it was going in my mouth. My binging also consisted of the same thing over & over. It would last a couple of days. My most favorite are what I refer to as "Devil Chips". The Lays Kettle cooked chips are what I am talking about. I'm pretty sure that something that tasted so good to me that I couldn't stop shoveling in was made by the Devil. If you've never had them, let me explain them to you. They are not too salty, thicker cut chips with a lovely taste. My eyes would roll back when I first opened a bag & inhaled their greasy scent. Sooooo Delicious!!!!
I can't tell you the last time I've had them. I don't want them either. See, as I budget, I would also figure out a way to get my necessities & my binge things. It occurred to me today, that I really can't tell you the last time I had them while I was grabbing my banana for the day. Ironically, my fruit is in a bowl that sits next to where I keep my chips. I will be going to the store later, but chips aren't on my list. I will probably walk down the chip aisles (yes, I said aisles, the grocery store I go to has 2 snack aisles), I will probably walk down it just to say "Hey bitches" & give them the finger. I have no desire or need for chips, for the first time in my life.
Another thing that occurred to me is that, again, while grabbing my banana, I have tortilla chips. As I said, I don't discriminate. The tortilla chips are even open. I haven't even opened the bag to have one. Jay eats them if he's there. They have probably been sitting there for well over a week. Normally, it's a good week if a bag of chips survives 3 days around me.
Anyway, I guess what I'm saying is the desire is gone & it hasn't been replaced by something else. THAT is a great thing!
Happily,
Elizabeth
grazingthroughlife@gmail.com
I'm a shameless chip eater. I used to discriminate & only eat sour cream & onion chips. Then my binging went haywire & if a chips wasn't nailed down, it was going in my mouth. My binging also consisted of the same thing over & over. It would last a couple of days. My most favorite are what I refer to as "Devil Chips". The Lays Kettle cooked chips are what I am talking about. I'm pretty sure that something that tasted so good to me that I couldn't stop shoveling in was made by the Devil. If you've never had them, let me explain them to you. They are not too salty, thicker cut chips with a lovely taste. My eyes would roll back when I first opened a bag & inhaled their greasy scent. Sooooo Delicious!!!!
I can't tell you the last time I've had them. I don't want them either. See, as I budget, I would also figure out a way to get my necessities & my binge things. It occurred to me today, that I really can't tell you the last time I had them while I was grabbing my banana for the day. Ironically, my fruit is in a bowl that sits next to where I keep my chips. I will be going to the store later, but chips aren't on my list. I will probably walk down the chip aisles (yes, I said aisles, the grocery store I go to has 2 snack aisles), I will probably walk down it just to say "Hey bitches" & give them the finger. I have no desire or need for chips, for the first time in my life.
Another thing that occurred to me is that, again, while grabbing my banana, I have tortilla chips. As I said, I don't discriminate. The tortilla chips are even open. I haven't even opened the bag to have one. Jay eats them if he's there. They have probably been sitting there for well over a week. Normally, it's a good week if a bag of chips survives 3 days around me.
Anyway, I guess what I'm saying is the desire is gone & it hasn't been replaced by something else. THAT is a great thing!
Happily,
Elizabeth
grazingthroughlife@gmail.com
Tuesday, July 27, 2010
Edible Utensils
I did something I never thought I would do. I have to thank my friend Debbie for the name of tonight's blog. She came up with it while we were talking.
I've been cutting back & eating less & making better choices (well, better choices during the day at work, at least). I've been enjoying bean salads. I just whip them together, season them up, add some onions, celery, oil & vinegar & go.
I decided today to use celery to scoop up my bean salad instead of just using a fork. While not big for most people, big for me. Edible Utensils!!!
Normally I would have thought of a way to incorporate chips into lunch. Not today. Celery was my crunch factor. It helped by adding a bit more food to my lunch, which helped, otherwise I'm starving again shortly after I eat.
I feel good with today!!
Happily,
Elizabeth
grazingthroughlife@gmail.com
I've been cutting back & eating less & making better choices (well, better choices during the day at work, at least). I've been enjoying bean salads. I just whip them together, season them up, add some onions, celery, oil & vinegar & go.
I decided today to use celery to scoop up my bean salad instead of just using a fork. While not big for most people, big for me. Edible Utensils!!!
Normally I would have thought of a way to incorporate chips into lunch. Not today. Celery was my crunch factor. It helped by adding a bit more food to my lunch, which helped, otherwise I'm starving again shortly after I eat.
I feel good with today!!
Happily,
Elizabeth
grazingthroughlife@gmail.com
Yowza Yowza Yowza!!
Can I just share with you how HAPPY I am? I noticed it today. Things are weird in a good way. I'm not coping like usual. Funny. I don't need to cope at all. Weird.
I think my happiness is due to reaching a new point in my life. I also think adding exercise back in plays a big part. Just the little bit seems to make such a difference.
Stupid shit isn't bothering me. Yesterday I planned to wear a skirt I haven't worn in a while. Well, it didn't want to zip. Normally that would have sent me into a major funk of poor coping choices. That didn't happen yesterday!! Go me!!
I'm so grossly & ecstatically happy it could be considered disgusting to most people. But I don't care. I'm hoping it's contagious & whether you like it or not, I'm gonna share it with you!!!
Happily,
Elizabeth
grazingthroughlife@gmail.com
I think my happiness is due to reaching a new point in my life. I also think adding exercise back in plays a big part. Just the little bit seems to make such a difference.
Stupid shit isn't bothering me. Yesterday I planned to wear a skirt I haven't worn in a while. Well, it didn't want to zip. Normally that would have sent me into a major funk of poor coping choices. That didn't happen yesterday!! Go me!!
I'm so grossly & ecstatically happy it could be considered disgusting to most people. But I don't care. I'm hoping it's contagious & whether you like it or not, I'm gonna share it with you!!!
Happily,
Elizabeth
grazingthroughlife@gmail.com
Saturday, July 24, 2010
Revelations 07:24
While at the Y this morning, two things occurred to me. I will tell you along with my musical selections, some random thoughts, a couple of pictures. Oh, and I owe you all three things I'm thankful for. My bad, I've been busy.
Before I get to my revelations, I just need to mention something that was said to me the other day. I was told by someone who has read my blog, and who shall remain nameless, that they don't read it anymore & won't. I also ask that no one try to guess or ask me who it is. What I write about makes them feel uncomfortable, it's bothersome. Well, that's how I took it, because this person couldn't find actual words for their feelings. Well, if what I write is tough for someone to read, then imagine being me, actually living in my head with my struggles & ways of coping. Maybe one day this person will read again, seeing my personal growth. We can only hope.
Anyway, my first thing I am thankful for: the landscaping company for the Y, I'm not sure if the Y requested this or what but outside the windows there are two butterfly bushes. Anyone who is on a treadmill, exercise bike or cross trainer is facing these windows. Well, when I've been there, there have been butterflies fluttering around the bushes. It makes me even happier to watch them while I exercise.
Revelation #1: I know why my confidence has been diminished. Mirrors. There are mirrors at the Y over in the weight area, for people to watch their form. That means I have to look at myself in the mirror & I see all of my imperfections, things that keep moving when I've stopped. I don't like looking at myself. Well, I have to get over that because all of those things I don't like can be fixed with hard work, dedication, time & perseverance. It won't be easy, it won't be pretty & it certainly will take time, but it can be done.
I lifted weights again today, a full body train. I don't spot train like most people you see lifting weights. Spot training is where you pick one single muscles group/area & work that only. I do the entire body, every time I lift. A lot of people who spot train have trouble trying to do a full body lift. I was friends with a guy who regularly spot trained. Well Donna, my trainer, offered to work him out in a full body lift. He couldn't finish. He became nauseous part of the way through, it was too much for him. Boys, lol.
My second thing I'm thankful for is the muscle shakes. When I get these, it tells me my muscles are happy, that they worked hard.
My weight lifting music today was my Britney Spears/Lady Gaga playlist I created. I don't know why, probably because the music makes me move. My workout consisted of the following:
2 sets of dumb bell squats
1 set of leg extensions (machine)
1 set of leg curls (prone, machine)
1 set of hip abductors (outer thigh, machine)
1 set of hip adductors (inner thigh, machine)
2 sets of lateral raises (dumb bell)
1 set of over head press (dumb bell)
1 set lateral pull downs (narrow)
1 set lateral pull downs (wide)
2 sets of flys (dumb bell)
1 set of bench press (dumb bell)
1 set of bicep curls (dumb bell)
1 set of hammer curls (dumb bell)
2 sets of tricep push downs (machine)
2 sets of crunches (machine)
Revelation #2: I don't have anyone I work out with. Before, I had Donna along with Elysia or my friend Amy when I lifted & I always had someone I was meeting to do cardio with. I was also face friendly with a few people, also giving a sense of comfort. I don't have to anyone now. It's just me. That makes me feel insecure. This will be something I have to work through & keep doing because, I'm sure over time I will become face friendly with some people, maybe even finding someone to meet up with. Until then.....
Third thing I'm thankful for: my brain for having the knowledge to be able to do a lot of things, not just exercise.
After doing all of that, I did 45 minutes of cardio on the cross trainer. On days I do lift weights, I don't put the resistance too high. I usually leave it at about a tension of 6. I want to be able to walk later, you know? I did play around with the crossramp some today. That changes the incline. I could feel it in my butt & that's a good thing!!! I try to maintain my heart rate about 135 while doing cardio. Again, on days I don't lift I use higher intensity songs, fluctuating my heart rate a bit more.
My musical selections:
Smells Like Funk - Black Eyed Peas
In My Bed (So So Def Mix) - Dru Hill
Hope You're Feeling Better - Santana
Imma Be - Black Eyed Peas
Do You Wanna Get Funky (Vocal Club Mix) - C & C Music Factory
King of the Dancehall - Beenie Man
Lo NuestroSe Fue (Remix) - Alex Rivera (Coro), Daddy Yankee, Ivy Queen & Wisin
Via Kartare Da - Punjabi MC
Good Morning - Punjabi MC
Maria - Ricky Martin
So I promised pictures. I want to show you what all that working out looks like. It's might be unsuitable for some people, that is if you don't like to see what hard work & sweat looks like!!
I remember to smile for you all!! The next picture isn't quite as nice.
Pretty gross, right?!?!?!?! Ewwwww!!!! I told you all it wasn't for the faint of heart!!!!
That's what I have for you all today. Have a great day!!!
Happily,
Elizabeth
grazingthroughlife@gmail.com
Before I get to my revelations, I just need to mention something that was said to me the other day. I was told by someone who has read my blog, and who shall remain nameless, that they don't read it anymore & won't. I also ask that no one try to guess or ask me who it is. What I write about makes them feel uncomfortable, it's bothersome. Well, that's how I took it, because this person couldn't find actual words for their feelings. Well, if what I write is tough for someone to read, then imagine being me, actually living in my head with my struggles & ways of coping. Maybe one day this person will read again, seeing my personal growth. We can only hope.
Anyway, my first thing I am thankful for: the landscaping company for the Y, I'm not sure if the Y requested this or what but outside the windows there are two butterfly bushes. Anyone who is on a treadmill, exercise bike or cross trainer is facing these windows. Well, when I've been there, there have been butterflies fluttering around the bushes. It makes me even happier to watch them while I exercise.
Revelation #1: I know why my confidence has been diminished. Mirrors. There are mirrors at the Y over in the weight area, for people to watch their form. That means I have to look at myself in the mirror & I see all of my imperfections, things that keep moving when I've stopped. I don't like looking at myself. Well, I have to get over that because all of those things I don't like can be fixed with hard work, dedication, time & perseverance. It won't be easy, it won't be pretty & it certainly will take time, but it can be done.
I lifted weights again today, a full body train. I don't spot train like most people you see lifting weights. Spot training is where you pick one single muscles group/area & work that only. I do the entire body, every time I lift. A lot of people who spot train have trouble trying to do a full body lift. I was friends with a guy who regularly spot trained. Well Donna, my trainer, offered to work him out in a full body lift. He couldn't finish. He became nauseous part of the way through, it was too much for him. Boys, lol.
My second thing I'm thankful for is the muscle shakes. When I get these, it tells me my muscles are happy, that they worked hard.
My weight lifting music today was my Britney Spears/Lady Gaga playlist I created. I don't know why, probably because the music makes me move. My workout consisted of the following:
2 sets of dumb bell squats
1 set of leg extensions (machine)
1 set of leg curls (prone, machine)
1 set of hip abductors (outer thigh, machine)
1 set of hip adductors (inner thigh, machine)
2 sets of lateral raises (dumb bell)
1 set of over head press (dumb bell)
1 set lateral pull downs (narrow)
1 set lateral pull downs (wide)
2 sets of flys (dumb bell)
1 set of bench press (dumb bell)
1 set of bicep curls (dumb bell)
1 set of hammer curls (dumb bell)
2 sets of tricep push downs (machine)
2 sets of crunches (machine)
Revelation #2: I don't have anyone I work out with. Before, I had Donna along with Elysia or my friend Amy when I lifted & I always had someone I was meeting to do cardio with. I was also face friendly with a few people, also giving a sense of comfort. I don't have to anyone now. It's just me. That makes me feel insecure. This will be something I have to work through & keep doing because, I'm sure over time I will become face friendly with some people, maybe even finding someone to meet up with. Until then.....
Third thing I'm thankful for: my brain for having the knowledge to be able to do a lot of things, not just exercise.
After doing all of that, I did 45 minutes of cardio on the cross trainer. On days I do lift weights, I don't put the resistance too high. I usually leave it at about a tension of 6. I want to be able to walk later, you know? I did play around with the crossramp some today. That changes the incline. I could feel it in my butt & that's a good thing!!! I try to maintain my heart rate about 135 while doing cardio. Again, on days I don't lift I use higher intensity songs, fluctuating my heart rate a bit more.
My musical selections:
Smells Like Funk - Black Eyed Peas
In My Bed (So So Def Mix) - Dru Hill
Hope You're Feeling Better - Santana
Imma Be - Black Eyed Peas
Do You Wanna Get Funky (Vocal Club Mix) - C & C Music Factory
King of the Dancehall - Beenie Man
Lo NuestroSe Fue (Remix) - Alex Rivera (Coro), Daddy Yankee, Ivy Queen & Wisin
Via Kartare Da - Punjabi MC
Good Morning - Punjabi MC
Maria - Ricky Martin
So I promised pictures. I want to show you what all that working out looks like. It's might be unsuitable for some people, that is if you don't like to see what hard work & sweat looks like!!
I remember to smile for you all!! The next picture isn't quite as nice.
Pretty gross, right?!?!?!?! Ewwwww!!!! I told you all it wasn't for the faint of heart!!!!
That's what I have for you all today. Have a great day!!!
Happily,
Elizabeth
grazingthroughlife@gmail.com
Thursday, July 22, 2010
Old Habits
Do they really die hard or do they never die but remain dormant, sometimes forever??
So I know I would blog about my small goal & bigger-ish goal today, to keep you updated on me. Well, I got my 64 ounces of water in & I have lost count on how many times I've gone to the bathroom. I'm hoping I canmake it through the night without any "incidents"....hahaha
As for my bigger-ish goal, you know, the one where I get to the Y at least 4 times a week? Well I had my alarm set for 4:45am & never heard it go off. THAT is unusual for me because I hear everything. It wasn't until the boy started his wailing from the other room to wake me up that I became remotely coherent. When I looked at the clock (it said 5:42am) it occurred to me I slept in the same position all night long & was suffering from broken hip syndrome. Great.
Instead of letting that totally derail me I took a different approach. I'd figure out a way to get in SOME exercise. Today was cleanup day at work, so we spent a lot of time packing up things & cleaning & tidying. Weight Watchers always counted any thing that made you move as activity. Awesome!!!! When I got home from work, I changed my clothes & decided since I wouldn't be getting weight training in as planned, I do some core strenghtening. I worked on my planks, which is merely holding pushup position for a duration. Might sound easy but it isn't. My arms begin to shake & I feel the muscles in my lower back & abdomen hurt. They are doing what they are supposed to do. They wouldn't hurt so much if my core was stronger, but we will get there. Then I did some crunches while holding a weighted bar behind my knees. Having a strong core improves posture, balance & a whole bunch of other things.
I was told something earlier that bothered me quite a bit. I was a little shocked. I could get it out here, I could use humor, I could call Seth, I could eat chips or I can hide behind my smile. I'm not exactly sure what I'm going to do.
Anyway, I have to take a potty break, 64 ounces of water is a lot!!!
Elizabeth
grazingthroughife@gmail.com
So I know I would blog about my small goal & bigger-ish goal today, to keep you updated on me. Well, I got my 64 ounces of water in & I have lost count on how many times I've gone to the bathroom. I'm hoping I canmake it through the night without any "incidents"....hahaha
As for my bigger-ish goal, you know, the one where I get to the Y at least 4 times a week? Well I had my alarm set for 4:45am & never heard it go off. THAT is unusual for me because I hear everything. It wasn't until the boy started his wailing from the other room to wake me up that I became remotely coherent. When I looked at the clock (it said 5:42am) it occurred to me I slept in the same position all night long & was suffering from broken hip syndrome. Great.
Instead of letting that totally derail me I took a different approach. I'd figure out a way to get in SOME exercise. Today was cleanup day at work, so we spent a lot of time packing up things & cleaning & tidying. Weight Watchers always counted any thing that made you move as activity. Awesome!!!! When I got home from work, I changed my clothes & decided since I wouldn't be getting weight training in as planned, I do some core strenghtening. I worked on my planks, which is merely holding pushup position for a duration. Might sound easy but it isn't. My arms begin to shake & I feel the muscles in my lower back & abdomen hurt. They are doing what they are supposed to do. They wouldn't hurt so much if my core was stronger, but we will get there. Then I did some crunches while holding a weighted bar behind my knees. Having a strong core improves posture, balance & a whole bunch of other things.
I was told something earlier that bothered me quite a bit. I was a little shocked. I could get it out here, I could use humor, I could call Seth, I could eat chips or I can hide behind my smile. I'm not exactly sure what I'm going to do.
Anyway, I have to take a potty break, 64 ounces of water is a lot!!!
Elizabeth
grazingthroughife@gmail.com
Wednesday, July 21, 2010
Well...
Hey, I changed my background, what do you think? I think it's fresh & looks delicious, stuff I want to eat. It's probably good they didn't have a chicken wing or potato chip background!!
Anyway.....
I asked for suggestions about goals I could set for myself. It was also suggested I write things down, sort of like a gratitude journal. Well, I think I'm going to do a little of both.
I am going start with picking one small goal & one bigger-ish type goal. My small goal is to get in 64 ounces of water a day. I know, I better get some depends. When I succeed for a week straight, I will pick another small goal. Of course, you all know I will share with you.
My bigger-ish goal is to get to the Y at least 4 times a week (2 cardio only days & 2 weight lift & cardio days), so far I have 2 days in! Yes, I did say how much I love exercising, & how much I love doing it in the morning. So it would make sense to get up early, before work & go. Doing that means I have to slightly adjust my daily eating, because I will be getting up 90 minutes earlier than normal and it means my body will need some type of fuel for exercising. I don't want to eat 2 breakfasts, I don't want to make poor snack choices. That I struggle with, which hinders my process. Dumb, yes but still a small issue for me. If any of you have some suggestions, you know, I am always welcome to hearing them.
Now, for my gratitude. This shout out is for my still sore muscles from weight lifting on Sunday. It's been that long since I've done it, so I knew I'd be wicked sore. I'm so thankful to have the ability to use my muscles, that they still work & want to work for me. That using them, not to full capacity, but just making them work makes me VERY happy.
That's it for now. Now that I plan to make myself a bit more accountable, expect to hear from me more often!!
Happily,
Elizabeth
grazingthroughlife@gmail.com
Anyway.....
I asked for suggestions about goals I could set for myself. It was also suggested I write things down, sort of like a gratitude journal. Well, I think I'm going to do a little of both.
I am going start with picking one small goal & one bigger-ish type goal. My small goal is to get in 64 ounces of water a day. I know, I better get some depends. When I succeed for a week straight, I will pick another small goal. Of course, you all know I will share with you.
My bigger-ish goal is to get to the Y at least 4 times a week (2 cardio only days & 2 weight lift & cardio days), so far I have 2 days in! Yes, I did say how much I love exercising, & how much I love doing it in the morning. So it would make sense to get up early, before work & go. Doing that means I have to slightly adjust my daily eating, because I will be getting up 90 minutes earlier than normal and it means my body will need some type of fuel for exercising. I don't want to eat 2 breakfasts, I don't want to make poor snack choices. That I struggle with, which hinders my process. Dumb, yes but still a small issue for me. If any of you have some suggestions, you know, I am always welcome to hearing them.
Now, for my gratitude. This shout out is for my still sore muscles from weight lifting on Sunday. It's been that long since I've done it, so I knew I'd be wicked sore. I'm so thankful to have the ability to use my muscles, that they still work & want to work for me. That using them, not to full capacity, but just making them work makes me VERY happy.
That's it for now. Now that I plan to make myself a bit more accountable, expect to hear from me more often!!
Happily,
Elizabeth
grazingthroughlife@gmail.com
Sunday, July 18, 2010
Epiphany
I had one today. A kind of big one too. Yesterday I decided to get my butt to the Y. I made my typical deal with myself, to do the elliptical for 30 minutes or burn 300 calories, whichever came first. I did 30 minutes & burned 372 calories, so it was a win/win situation.
I forced myself to go today. To go early. I decided I like exercising in the morning the best. I have energy throughout the day. I got to the Y at 7:22am. They don't open until 8:00am. I didn't let it derail me. I brought laundry with me to do after the Y, but I did it before. Not a big deal, I live 1 minute from the Y (literally). So as I put my stuff in to dry, I went back to the Y.
I did a full body lift today. It felt great. With my old trainer, I used to tell him that I would never ever lift with free weights. When I trained with Donna, I'm pretty sure I told her the same thing, but Donna constantly changes things up. Anyway, free weights are my favorite way to lift.
So after, I lifted I did another 30 minutes on the elliptical. I spent a good 90 minutes at the Y today. While I was doing my cardio, I had my epiphany.
I'm good at lifting weights & exercising in general. I know what I am doing. My form is perfect. I love doing it. As I write, I have some lightly sore muscles, but it's such a good feeling. I had to lower the amount of weight I lifted because it's been so long since I last did it, but I knew what to do. On the cross trainer, my heart rate wasn't high & pounding in my ears. It was steady & my breathing was smooth. I had that exercise high going on. It's such a wonderful feeling. That's when it occurred to me that my confidence issue was just dumb. I know what I am doing. I didn't need to feel weird or uncomfortable. I'm there, doing all the right things for my own personal benefit.
I know, my irrational ideas are just that & but they are MY irrational ideas. Today I had to force myself outside of my comfort zone, only to have the positive thoughts I did. Guess what else? No one said anything to me about lifting, nothing bad happened, it was a good day.
I'm happy, I feel good. I needed the reminder of just how good I feel when I do exercise. I suppose I was just a little lost & I am slowly finding my way back.
Happily,
Elizabeth
grazingthroughlife@gmail.com
I forced myself to go today. To go early. I decided I like exercising in the morning the best. I have energy throughout the day. I got to the Y at 7:22am. They don't open until 8:00am. I didn't let it derail me. I brought laundry with me to do after the Y, but I did it before. Not a big deal, I live 1 minute from the Y (literally). So as I put my stuff in to dry, I went back to the Y.
I did a full body lift today. It felt great. With my old trainer, I used to tell him that I would never ever lift with free weights. When I trained with Donna, I'm pretty sure I told her the same thing, but Donna constantly changes things up. Anyway, free weights are my favorite way to lift.
So after, I lifted I did another 30 minutes on the elliptical. I spent a good 90 minutes at the Y today. While I was doing my cardio, I had my epiphany.
I'm good at lifting weights & exercising in general. I know what I am doing. My form is perfect. I love doing it. As I write, I have some lightly sore muscles, but it's such a good feeling. I had to lower the amount of weight I lifted because it's been so long since I last did it, but I knew what to do. On the cross trainer, my heart rate wasn't high & pounding in my ears. It was steady & my breathing was smooth. I had that exercise high going on. It's such a wonderful feeling. That's when it occurred to me that my confidence issue was just dumb. I know what I am doing. I didn't need to feel weird or uncomfortable. I'm there, doing all the right things for my own personal benefit.
I know, my irrational ideas are just that & but they are MY irrational ideas. Today I had to force myself outside of my comfort zone, only to have the positive thoughts I did. Guess what else? No one said anything to me about lifting, nothing bad happened, it was a good day.
I'm happy, I feel good. I needed the reminder of just how good I feel when I do exercise. I suppose I was just a little lost & I am slowly finding my way back.
Happily,
Elizabeth
grazingthroughlife@gmail.com
Wednesday, July 14, 2010
Need some Assistance Please.....
I need some help. Not the usual kind of help most people ask for, I think.
I'm still having trouble using my foods to cope. I still have mixed emotions about it. I'm a loon, I know. I struggle, I cope, my ways are changing (I think) & I'm confused.....whatever, get over it....yeah.....
I think I need a goal to get me back into my exercise groove. I'm still struggling a lot with that. I don't know why. My friend Leslie told me I always find my way back, but I'm still lost. I'm now trying to find a goal that doesn't cost any money, that isn't a positive exercise related goal i.e. better sleeping, weight loss, better mood, etc., because that really isn't doing anything for me.
Maybe you all should shower me with gifts say on a daily basis to get me to go to the Y!!!! Just kidding!!! That's terribly self centered & greedy. But I would like some suggestions on some different types of goals.
If you all (all 12 followers...) could give me some suggestions, I would appreciate it.
Thank you!!
Happily,
Elizabeth
grazingthroughlife@gmail.com
I'm still having trouble using my foods to cope. I still have mixed emotions about it. I'm a loon, I know. I struggle, I cope, my ways are changing (I think) & I'm confused.....whatever, get over it....yeah.....
I think I need a goal to get me back into my exercise groove. I'm still struggling a lot with that. I don't know why. My friend Leslie told me I always find my way back, but I'm still lost. I'm now trying to find a goal that doesn't cost any money, that isn't a positive exercise related goal i.e. better sleeping, weight loss, better mood, etc., because that really isn't doing anything for me.
Maybe you all should shower me with gifts say on a daily basis to get me to go to the Y!!!! Just kidding!!! That's terribly self centered & greedy. But I would like some suggestions on some different types of goals.
If you all (all 12 followers...) could give me some suggestions, I would appreciate it.
Thank you!!
Happily,
Elizabeth
grazingthroughlife@gmail.com
Friday, July 9, 2010
Confusion
I will be the first person to admit that my way of coping is by eating. When I cope I tend to binge eat so that would also make me a binge eater. I don't know why that is my way of coping but it's what I do. Most of the time it's done in secret. Kinda like if no one sees me then I didn't really do it.
I have a lot of insecurities in my personal life lately. I don't know why but I do. The crazy lady in my head is really active all of a sudden. I'm stressed with work, my budget, how much life Bonne the Bonnevile has left in her, among other things.
My budget has been so tight that I haven't been able to cope MY way. I've also worked really hard at not being a total jerk to the people around me. When I cope (eat, binge eat, shovel food in), I get such a sense of elation at that moment. I feel relaxed, my eyes kind of close, it's delicious.
I know when my next payday is. I've done nothing but think about the fun yummy happy foods I'm going to get, or at least I'm planning to get. But something is happening. I suppose it's good something. I can't bring myself to get what I need to feel better. It's almost as if I am physically bound from getting my happy foods. I don't know why.
I want to cry because for some reason I just can't cope as I always have. Sure, it means I've made some progress somewhere, heck, a lot of progress, but I still want to cry. It's as if there is a void. I want to fill the void, but don't know how or with what, if there is a what. Maybe crying will fill that void. Maybe crying will make me feel better, a release.
I'm torn.....I don't have the means to cope as I would like to at the moment but if I did have a way, I wouldn't be able to do it. Oddly, both of those things make me very very sad. If you don't have coping issues, you probably don't understand. On more than one occasion when I've had a bad day I usually say I need chips or wings, since those are my coping/binge staples. I can say it now, but it doesn't sound the same. I'm not getting that excited feeling inside. I'm kind of "eh" about it.
I feel as though I have multiple personalities over this issue. Having a discussion (with the crazy lady) about how I will feel better, or I deserve it, is weird. Now, I can't justify any of it. I really should be happy, but I'm not.
Confused,
Elizabeth
grazingthroughlife@gmail.com
I have a lot of insecurities in my personal life lately. I don't know why but I do. The crazy lady in my head is really active all of a sudden. I'm stressed with work, my budget, how much life Bonne the Bonnevile has left in her, among other things.
My budget has been so tight that I haven't been able to cope MY way. I've also worked really hard at not being a total jerk to the people around me. When I cope (eat, binge eat, shovel food in), I get such a sense of elation at that moment. I feel relaxed, my eyes kind of close, it's delicious.
I know when my next payday is. I've done nothing but think about the fun yummy happy foods I'm going to get, or at least I'm planning to get. But something is happening. I suppose it's good something. I can't bring myself to get what I need to feel better. It's almost as if I am physically bound from getting my happy foods. I don't know why.
I want to cry because for some reason I just can't cope as I always have. Sure, it means I've made some progress somewhere, heck, a lot of progress, but I still want to cry. It's as if there is a void. I want to fill the void, but don't know how or with what, if there is a what. Maybe crying will fill that void. Maybe crying will make me feel better, a release.
I'm torn.....I don't have the means to cope as I would like to at the moment but if I did have a way, I wouldn't be able to do it. Oddly, both of those things make me very very sad. If you don't have coping issues, you probably don't understand. On more than one occasion when I've had a bad day I usually say I need chips or wings, since those are my coping/binge staples. I can say it now, but it doesn't sound the same. I'm not getting that excited feeling inside. I'm kind of "eh" about it.
I feel as though I have multiple personalities over this issue. Having a discussion (with the crazy lady) about how I will feel better, or I deserve it, is weird. Now, I can't justify any of it. I really should be happy, but I'm not.
Confused,
Elizabeth
grazingthroughlife@gmail.com
Friday, July 2, 2010
Meat & more, well, not so much...
I had my vacation to Middle America, Missouri to be exact. It was blazing hot, it was 100 degrees when we were picked up. It finally cooled down the night before we were leaving. It was a really nice visit with my Mom & Chauncey.
We did a lot, but ate even more. Pretty much we just ate meat. I could never do Atkins or anything like it. I need my fruits & vegetables. That fact became very clear, when I finally had a salad with my lunch on Tuesday & for the rest of the day & part of the next morning my gut was a firestorm.
Don't get me wrong. I thoroughly enjoyed my Waffle House hash browns, twice. I also enjoyed the ribs at the Wabash BBQ Oh my goodness!!!!!! So delicious!!! Jay had his leftovers for breakfast the next morning!!! We also had some corn nuggets. Those were good too & I don't consider them a vegetable, they were fried and all. We had delicious Midwestern beef.....needless to say, we had a lot of meat.
What did I learn? Everything in moderation. My body is still paying for all the meat consumption. Will I ever learn my lesson? Maybe, maybe not. It's not like I get out to the Midwest often for great BBQ. I suppose next time I should look harder for vegetables & fruits. The first thing I did when I got back & went to the store was get a bunch of fruit. Funny, well to me it is.
Anyway, I'm home & still full of meat. I don't think I would have done my trip any different.
Happily,
Elizabeth
grazingthroughlife@gmail.com
We did a lot, but ate even more. Pretty much we just ate meat. I could never do Atkins or anything like it. I need my fruits & vegetables. That fact became very clear, when I finally had a salad with my lunch on Tuesday & for the rest of the day & part of the next morning my gut was a firestorm.
Don't get me wrong. I thoroughly enjoyed my Waffle House hash browns, twice. I also enjoyed the ribs at the Wabash BBQ Oh my goodness!!!!!! So delicious!!! Jay had his leftovers for breakfast the next morning!!! We also had some corn nuggets. Those were good too & I don't consider them a vegetable, they were fried and all. We had delicious Midwestern beef.....needless to say, we had a lot of meat.
What did I learn? Everything in moderation. My body is still paying for all the meat consumption. Will I ever learn my lesson? Maybe, maybe not. It's not like I get out to the Midwest often for great BBQ. I suppose next time I should look harder for vegetables & fruits. The first thing I did when I got back & went to the store was get a bunch of fruit. Funny, well to me it is.
Anyway, I'm home & still full of meat. I don't think I would have done my trip any different.
Happily,
Elizabeth
grazingthroughlife@gmail.com
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