Epiphany

I had one today. A kind of big one too. Yesterday I decided to get my butt to the Y. I made my typical deal with myself, to do the elliptical for 30 minutes or burn 300 calories, whichever came first. I did 30 minutes & burned 372 calories, so it was a win/win situation.

I forced myself to go today. To go early. I decided I like exercising in the morning the best. I have energy throughout the day. I got to the Y at 7:22am. They don't open until 8:00am. I didn't let it derail me. I brought laundry with me to do after the Y, but I did it before. Not a big deal, I live 1 minute from the Y (literally). So as I put my stuff in to dry, I went back to the Y.

I did a full body lift today. It felt great. With my old trainer, I used to tell him that I would never ever lift with free weights. When I trained with Donna, I'm pretty sure I told her the same thing, but Donna constantly changes things up. Anyway, free weights are my favorite way to lift.

So after, I lifted I did another 30 minutes on the elliptical. I spent a good 90 minutes at the Y today. While I was doing my cardio, I had my epiphany.

I'm good at lifting weights & exercising in general. I know what I am doing. My form is perfect. I love doing it. As I write, I have some lightly sore muscles, but it's such a good feeling. I had to lower the amount of weight I lifted because it's been so long since I last did it, but I knew what to do. On the cross trainer, my heart rate wasn't high & pounding in my ears. It was steady & my breathing was smooth. I had that exercise high going on. It's such a wonderful feeling. That's when it occurred to me that my confidence issue was just dumb. I know what I am doing. I didn't need to feel weird or uncomfortable. I'm there, doing all the right things for my own personal benefit.

I know, my irrational ideas are just that & but they are MY irrational ideas. Today I had to force myself outside of my comfort zone, only to have the positive thoughts I did. Guess what else? No one said anything to me about lifting, nothing bad happened, it was a good day.

I'm happy, I feel good. I needed the reminder of just how good I feel when I do exercise. I suppose I was just a little lost & I am slowly finding my way back.

Happily,

Elizabeth
grazingthroughlife@gmail.com