Short & Sweet

I don't have much to say at all. Just a little update & to mention how my friend Leah has summed things up for me. Thanks Leah!

I weighed myself. I had a very, very off program week with WW. I didn't expect much this morning. Oddly, I had a .5 loss, making my total down 10.9 lbs. Not bad & I will take it!

Leah wrote about how she hit The Brick Wall of Apathy. It was very appropriate for me. I guess she and I are sharing some of the same feelings. She stated it well. Please read what she has to say.

I'm off to the Y in a bit. It was so crowded this morning I couldn't find parking & when I did not one cardio machine was open. So I'm going to try again in a little bit.

:)

No Horseback Riding Today

So I'm trying to move out of this funk. I suggested to my friend Ashley we try the Abs class at the Y last night that was this morning. It's only a 30 minute class. I thought it was a good start.

Excuse my language but HOLY EFFING CRAP!!!!! We felt the burn instantly. We started by light bouncing on a stability ball, lifting one leg, small circles while bouncing on the ball. Easy. It wasn't until we had to hold the ball behind our knees & do crunches that the pain began. It got really bad when we had to hold the ball between our feet & lift our legs to meet our hands above us to grab the ball & keep passing it between our feet & hands. I don't have the inner thigh strength. I lost a little control of my ball & my abs were burning so badly the only thing I was even capable of doing was rolling side to side like an effing beached whale because the quivering of my muscles was so bad I couldn't contract the muscles to sit up.

We did stuff with weights, I use 3 lb weights & it was killer. We did some ass work too. With the weights. This sort of donkey kick type thing. I liked that we didn't focus just on the abs located in the stomach/groin area. We did obliques & we worked hips too. Ironically, a man taught the class. It was a fast paced class, with some techno music. It wasn't difficult, it just matters on how strong certain muscles are.

I'm sore now, my inner thighs, my obliques, abs, hips - no pain, no gain, right?

I liked it, a lot. I can't wait until next Saturday. I also need to get to Costco for a big bottle of pain reliever before then......

:)

Life, it happens

This week was yet another off week. I don't know how Monday is going to work out for me with the scale. I'm not too concerned about it. Life happens. So does Banana Chiffon Cake. That turned out delicious with my over ripe bananas. It also gives me wicked heartburn, but yet I still pick at it. :)

I've had to take some time to think about things. As I mentioned before, I have some things on my mind. Some things I know the answers to, I'm just not ready to make changes yet. Some things I don't know the answers to but I'm still searching. There are questions I have, about things I am uncertain about and I'm afraid to initiate discussions for fear of the answers I will get. None of it is easy, well for me it isn't.

I am doing my best to get refocused for Monday. I just needed some time. Time to think about things. I couldn't think about what I was eating, it was a tad overwhelming. It was also easier to slice slivers off of a cake too, than measure everything else out. ;)

Again, Monday is a new week, I will be back on track with a better mindset.

:)

New Week

As I stated yesterday, I wasn't sure how this morning's weigh in would go. I skipped the gym this morning, it was -4 degrees outside. It was way too cold for me to take Hailey out & too cold for me. It didn't help that I woke up with another headache, again, so I went back to bed.

When I got up for the second time, it was time to stay up. So I started with my my regular routine. I put my contacts in so I could see when I weighed myself. Low & behold I am down .9 of a pound!! Wow! That makes my total 4 week loss 10.4 pounds!!! Can you believe it?!?!?!

So, what have we leaned?

1. Giving in to temptation once in a while won't hurt you. I think the fact that I didn't hammer food, but picked at it, even though it was more processed than usual was important. This isn't something I can do regularly. Nor should anyone. For me, it was needed.

2. Nothing is off limits with WW. You can work anything & everything in. I am proof of that. Since I started, I've consistently lost weight. I've indulged & enjoyed myself but accounted for all of it. Not once have I felt deprived.

That's two major things learned!!!

Today it's back on track. It's a new week. Gotta start it out right!!

Have a good one!!

:)

Lemon Starbursts

I love Lemon Starbursts. They are my favorite Starburst flavor & the only lemon flavored candy I eat. I don't know why, it just is. Seth always had Lemon Starbursts in his candy dish. Most likely because everyone else ate every other flavor which worked out for me. I miss Seth, a lot lately. Seth is my therapist. When I lost my job, I lost my health insurance and I could no longer continue seeing him. I do e-mail him now & then but it isn't the same. Lately, as in the last few weeks, compounded in the last few days I've felt extremely overwhelmed.

Seth was my outlet. When I first started seeing Seth and for the first three years of my time with him (I saw Seth for four years) I went to see him every two weeks. I had a lot I had to work through. I finally got to monthly sessions, which was huge for me. I've done well so far since being laid off, but lately it's just been hard.

I was hoping today would be lovely, like yesterday. Nothing to make me sad. Nothing to cause me worry. No. Not today. I got a phone call from my pharmacy. My discount card for my pills has expired. I was only paying $24 for them. I have to call & get a new card, except they aren't open today. With the new card, it's $45. Without it my pills are $88. Now, if you're thinking that $88 is cheap in comparison to say being pregnant & having a baby, I agree with you 100%. But when you're unemployed, barely making ends meet & don't have a job prospect out on the horizon.....it's not so cheap. I don't know where to make any more cuts.

This news comes after a culmination of things. I've been extra emotional due to some girl things. I'm very stressed over not having or being able to find a job. I can't tell you how many jobs I have applied for in the last 2 weeks alone. No e-mails back, no calls back. My bills have been mounting, I'm getting phone calls, it's just been stressful.

I've been letting a lot of things bother me that normally wouldn't. Things said to me, the way people speak to me.....dumb stuff. Probably because of my stress level. I don't sleep through the night, even if I take a sleeping aid. I do have Ambien, which I know will work, but I need a lot of time for sleep & I can't do that to Hailey. I'm just tired in general and of a lot of things. I have a lot on my mind, I'm worrying about. Stuff I would probably only talk about with Seth.

With all that, these last few days....well....I don't expect my weigh in for WW to show a loss. It may either show no change or be up some. I indulged some the past couple of days. It wasn't gross like it could have been or has been, I just grazed....a lot. Most of it was processed foods too. Salty, delicious processed foods. I picked & picked. I'm human, it happens, I'm just owning up to it. I won't write tomorrow: "I'm not sure what happened, weird". I'm being honest. I have owned up to it. I'm human & life happened. I will be moving forward & not backward.

Tomorrow is a new day :)

Checking in

Good evening!! How is everyone doing?? I'm great here. I had some REAL bacon for dinner, Jay & I had breakfast for dinner & boy was it good!!!!

I wanted to let you know how awesome I'm doing on WW. My 3 week total loss is 9.5 pounds!!! How great is that?!?!?!?! This week is my special visitor week, if you get what I'm saying, so I expect to be retaining a little water, but who cares!!!

I'm really happy with this plan. This time it feels so easy to do. Really.

I did lose a daily point, again. I guess it's a perk to losing weight consistently. If I want more to eat, or to splurge, like I did tonight bu having thick cut bacon, I just make sure to work out & earn some activity points. Although, I didn't have to dip into them at all!

I forgot to let you all know about hip hop.

Two Fridays ago was the first class. We had some bad weather & it was just Jake & I. Since the Y is also at Wits End, it's not like it's that the Y is that far away from me, which means I have no excuse not to exercise either. Anyway, he & I kinda tooled around with some stuff. He's style is all Usher like & mine is, well, not. I suggested he look into some old school stuff since I didn't think a lot of people could & would be able to glide & crip walk. I gave him some names of some things to look up and he listened to me.

Apparently, I'm the only one in the Friday class. He had some Bell Biv Devoe's "Poison" playing and worked up some moves to that. But the best part.....since it's just him I, we made up moves together!! Sure, I danced until I was about 15, so I have some skills, but it's fun & he takes me seriously. We had so much fun making stuff up & dancing together. I really enjoyed it!!!

Hopefully this serves as some inspiration to make some better choices and to get out there and try some new stuff & have fun while doing it!!!

Just to help with motivation, I'm going to leave you with Bell Biv Devoe's "Poison"!!!

Enjoy!!!

Sorry for the delay....

So sorry I am doing my Monday post today, Wednesday. I was a little preoccupied. :)

So my last post was titled "Something is Different" and I still believe that. I mentioned my mom was in town visiting, and we were enjoying the time & enjoying some things (foods) we have together. Yes, I accounted for everything. Every single thing I put into my mouth, I weighed & measured. Good & bad. Well, nothing is bad or off limits with WW. Just account for everything. And that is exactly what I have done. Yesterday, I had a very sad day with taking my mom to the airport. I cried the whole way home. I stopped at Quick Chek, which is my favorite convenience type store here in NJ & they happened to have my favorite Cheese Waffle Chips. They are these waffle type chips filled with this cheese to form a little sandwich. Normally, I don't have self control with them. I was ready to let my self control, I was just too sad & needed the comfort. I grabbed a bag, got a Coke Zero & checked out. When I got into my car, I was ready to tear into the bag. Except I didn't. I read the label to see what a serving size was. I took out 6 of the cheese waffle chips. I folded the bag up & enjoyed my portion. When I got home, I entered the information into my WW points tracker for what I had. For the first time ever I was able to live in peace & enjoy something I like. I considered that a success!! Now I'm about to give you a little general advice.

Don't ask someone if they can eat "that" or ask "What can you eat"? Anything & everything. Thank you for being considerate, it is appreciated, really. WW is a lifestyle, not a diet. Changing your lifestyle, for anyone, is difficult. Just be supportive. Mainly, just don't make someone feel like they are "different" because they are working at making better choices. They have to live their life their way just like you have to live yours your way. That's all, for now :)

Ok, so for my update. Yes, I accounted for everything. I am also down another 1.8 pounds making my 2 week total loss 8.5 pounds. Pretty awesome, right? Next Monday, I'm not so sure how it's going to turn out, but I'm not really worried. I have not had one single day where I didn't account for anything. Very different from the other times doing WW. I haven't exercised this week. I've been waking up with some severe headaches. I had sweets on Sunday, which I attributed to Monday's headache along with the fact that I haven't been drinking my water, so I think I'm slightly dehydrated. I just have to get back to getting my water in. I think it's going to make a huge difference. If I don't show a loss next Monday, it's not going to be an issue. Slow & steady wins the race!!

Something is Different

Today, my mom & I ran a few errands & I was telling her something is different with me. In a good way. I knew with her coming, I'd have some indulgences, but I had already made the decision to be accountable for everything. I have been 100% accountable for everything I have eaten since 12/27. I am so proud of myself!!

That leads me into the "something is different" part. Because something is. Not once have I felt the need to binge because something is stressing me. Yes, I have stress. I don't have a job, money is tight & all my bills are behind to the point I am getting phone calls. I send my resume out & hear nothing. I'm trying hard to stay positive though. Anyway, I haven't felt the need to binge. My typical coping mechanism. I haven't once felt like I was going to panic to get the foods that give me comfort. Something is different. Again, it's probably hard to understand if you don't cope with food like I do. I feel different, emotionally. I like how I feel. Wait. No. I LOVE how I feel. I feel so in control. It's such a great feeling!!

I worked hard this week, since I knew my mom was coming. I exercised a lot. In fact, if you're familiar with WW & how the Points Plus works, I earned 81 activity points. That's an extra 81 points I have to use (if I want) for my treats with my mom. We have not be gross with our choices either. Chips & dip, these Magic Pop rice things (0 points for 1 & 1 point for 2 & they are rather large!!) & hot chocolate pudding. That's all we chose to have together. I have lived with potato chips & dip & I haven't snuck any extra. Everything has been weighed/measured & accounted for. I enjoyed what I had, it was the perfect amount. Go figure.

On a side note, yes, I had a great week weight loss wise last week. I will admit I am a person who weighs every day. Sometimes multiple times a day. Anyway, I was noticing that my scale was delivering funky numbers. Some a couple pounds higher than my starting weight!! I ended up getting a new battery for my scale & things seem to be stable now. As far as I can tell, I'm down just a pound this week. Not quite as good as last week, but my loss last week may not have been as much as I determined due to the dying battery. Anyway, that really isn't my point. I still accounted for everything. I feel emotionally strong. Those things in themselves are successes as far as I am concerned. It's never about a number. It's about how you feel and I feel GREAT!!!!!

Sweet Dreams!!!

I feel terrific!!

I just wanted to share that. I'm loving the new WW. The changes they have made.....I don't feel restricted, or the need to restrict myself. I feel full, I'm eating well. It's great!!

For the first time in all the times I've tried WW, this is the first time I have been on track AND tracked for more than 2 or 3 days. Seriously. Imagine, on the old WW program I managed to lose almost 60 pounds without trying too hard. I've been 100% accountable this time. For 10 whole days. That is a record for me!! How successful do you think I will be this time around???

My mom is coming tomorrow for a couple of days. Of course that means indulging in some things I always have when we are together, but I'm confident as long as I keep track & remember moderation, it will be OK.

I've also not felt like binging. Typically, when I try to eat right, the panic of being restricted sets in & I become consumed with thoughts of my typical binge items. I haven't had that feeling in a while & these days back on WW I feel it even less. Again, I know people who don't cope with food might not understand, but it is a big deal. I'm probably in the most stressful time in my life & I don't feel the need to cope as I have normally done. I'm not saying I'm invincible, I'm saying I'm human. I'm sure I will have moments & I will address them accordingly.

That's all for now. Thanks for letting me share :)

Woot Woot!!!

That's right. Woot Woot!! I'm about to share some awesomeness!!!!

First of all, my scale is a temperamental douchebag. I have the WW scale where you can measure your body fat & stuff. For some reason, I can weigh myself 5 times & get 5 different weights sometimes. I have no idea why. Can someone shed some light on it for me? I mean, one time, I was up 9 pounds, 2 more than where I started last wee on WW. WTF??

Anyway, I managed to get the same weight to come up twice, so I went with it. What else was I supposed to do? Well, after 1 week on WW, where I didn't feel deprived, I exercised consistently AND I enjoyed myself New Years Eve.....I'm down 6.7 pounds!!!! Wooooootttttt Woooooootttttttttt!!!!!

How awesome is that?? I was motivated before, but I'm even more motivated now!!! My first goal I picked with WW is my 5%. I have less than 10 pounds to go until I reach that!! I did so well this week I had to re-take the points quiz, for my daily allotted points. In my first week, not only did I lose weight, but I lost a point too. Wow!! Awesome!!

The winter session started at the YMCA today. I did not sign up for Zumba. I did sign up for Hip Hop. I'm very excited!!! I needed the change. The Zumba stuff hasn't changed & I wasn't sweating & feeling worked out like I did in the beginning. Maybe I will go back to it, we shall see.

This Friday is my first Hip Hop class. Of course, I will share with you how it is. I'm looking forward to it. My mom also happens to be coming to visit this Thursday for a few days. I plan to keep on track with her here. I'm kind of excited to see if I will feel weak & cave in to it.

Have a great week!!!

Happy New Year!!

How did every one's New Years Eve go? Mine was filled with good people & lots of laughter!!! It was also filled with good food, which I will get to......

I made the most delicious Chipolte Cream spread, that is a Weight Watchers recipe. It's so good!! I'm glad I have leftovers!! I sliced up cucumbers to serve it on. I did have a couple, but....there was other food that was so much better!! Of course I indulged, not grossly, I had a little bit of everything & enjoyed myself. I did feel it this morning though.

When I finally woke up, my tongue felt swollen, my face felt super puffy & I had a sluggish feeling. I weighed myself & I was holding on to some water weight. I noticed some things tasted salty. Probably because I ate a lot less processed foods this week & a lot more fruits & vegetables. I just didn't feel great. Last night was a realization that it's more about the people than it is the food. That's not to say I'm not going to indulge on occasion & treat myself. I will just be getting all the good things in about 98% of the time.

This time on WW feels & seems different for me. This is the first time I have ever successfully tracked & eaten well on WW. That should tell you that even when you do the program half assed, you can still be successful. I'm not suggesting you do that though!!

I'm going to leave you with a quote that I read this morning in Bitch Cakes blog. It has to do with exercise & makes a very good point. She mentioned what her pilates instructor has said in class: Your brain will tell you to stop long before your body is ready to stop. Think about that. That is so true. She points out that when your body can no longer do any more, it will collapse. Amazing. What a thought.

I didn't make any resolutions this year. I didn't feel a need to. I started my eating right before the new year, because I was ready. Hopefully if you did make some, you will share with me what they are. Maybe you will find motivation to be successful whether they are weight related, exercise related, mental health related, personal growth related, anything, here.

Here is to an awesome 2011 for all of us!!!!